Digimon Deathmatch
by bak42
Summary: Take Digimon, Celebrity Deathmatch, & the WWF, throw them into a blender and mix well.


DIGIMON DEATHMATCH  
  
Announcer: Which hot-headed digimon can avoid getting burned? Which digimon can survive a 3-way dance with death? And which digimon will triumph in he battle of the bat pig versus the digi-kitty? Find out tonight on DIGIMON DEATHMATCH!!!  
  
JR: Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen and welcome to Digimon Deathmatch. JR, Jim Ross here, alongside Jerry, "The King," Lawler and have we got a show for you tonight.  
  
King: Oh you're not kidding there, JR.  
  
JR: Our first bout pits Agumon up against Veemon, a match that to me seems a little lopsided.  
  
King: You're right there, unless Veemon digivolves, Agumon should be able to just stand back and shower Veemon with his pepper breath attack. But what about our 2nd match tonight the triple threat match between Gomamon, Palmon, and Armadillomon, that's going to be a brawl pure and simple.  
  
JR: That match is shaping up to be a slobberknocker, no doubt in my mind about that. But that will pale in comparison to our main event Patamon versus Gatomon.  
  
King: Those two were friends until Gatomon made one too many flying pig remarks and Patamon just snapped.  
  
JR: Have to stop you there King, our first match is ready to get under way.  
  
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one death. (APA entrance music begins) Introducing first being accompanied to the ring by Tai, AGUMON!!!!  
  
(Vince McMahon's entrance music begins) And his opponent being accompanied to the ring by Davis, VEEMON!!!!  
  
Mills Lane: I want a good clean fight. Now, LET'S GET IT ON!!!  
  
(bell rings)  
  
Veemon: I'm going to mop the floor with you Agumon!! Veeheadbutt!!  
  
JR: Agumon ducks and Veemon takes a turnbuckle to the head.  
  
Agumon moves around Veemon and delivers a low blow  
  
Davis: Hey ref!! Is that legal!?!  
  
Mills Lane: I'll allow it!!  
  
Davis: Hey Veemon! Lets do it! Digiarmor energize!!  
  
Veemon: Veemon armor digivolve to… Flamedramon, the fire of courage.  
  
Flamedramon then proceeded to attack Agumon with his fire rockets attack.  
  
Tai: Agumon, digivolve!!  
  
Agumon: Agumon digivolve to… Greymon  
  
Greymon: Nova Blast!!  
  
But before Greymon could release the fireball, Davis sprayed Greymon's mouth with a fire extinguisher he pulled out from underneath the ring extinguishing the attack.  
  
Tai: Agumon, digivolve again!  
  
Greymon: (coughing) I'll try. Greymon dark-digivolve to Skull Greymon  
  
JR: It appears that the chemicals form the fire extinguisher have interfered with the digivolving process  
  
King: INCOMING!!!  
  
JR and King both get out of the way as Skull Greymon throws Flamedramon right at them. Flamedramon slams to the floor hard and dedigivolves back to Veemon. Skull Greymon moves in for the kill when suddenly. (Stone Cold Steve Austin's entrance music begins)  
  
JR: King! It's Ken and Stingmon! Ken and Stingmon are here!  
  
King: What are they doing here?!  
  
JR: I don't know, King  
  
Stingmon proceeded to attack Skull Greymon until he had dedigivolved back to Agumon.  
  
Davis: Veemon digivolve!  
  
Veemon: Veemon digivolve to Exveemon  
  
JR: And now Exveemon and Stingmon are double-teaming Agumon.  
  
(Mr. Ass's entrance music begins)  
  
King: But not for long here comes Matt and Garurumon.  
  
JR: Now Garurumon is being double-teamed by Exveemon and Stingmon.  
  
King: Garurumon is battling with Stingmon towards the stage.  
  
JR: While Exveemon heads back to finish Agumon off.  
  
Agumon: Agumon warp-digivolve to… Wargreymon  
  
Exveemon reaches the ring just in time to see Wargreymon unleash his Teraforce attack, which knocks Exveemon's head off his body.  
  
King: That head is going, going, gone.  
  
JR: This fight is over.  
  
(bell rings)  
  
Mills Lane: And the winner is, Wargreymon!  
  
JR: Well King, if this first fight is any indication, we are in for one hell of a night.  
  
King: I just hope that the other fights stay in the ring.  
  
JR: We now go to Michael Cole who is standing by with Gomamon.  
  
(Scene change to backstage)  
  
Michael Cole: Thank you JR. Gomamon you're scheduled for a triple threat match against Palmon and Armadillomon. what's your strategy going into this match?  
  
Gomamon: Mitchell Cole, will you please, SHUT, THE HELL, UP!! I'm competing against an overgrown, airheaded weed, and a digimon that makes Al Snow look intelligent. My strategy is to simply give them a beating that they will NEVER, EEEEVER forget.  
  
(Scene change to ring)  
  
Ring Announcer: The following contest is a triple threat match. (Y2J's music begins) Introducing first being accompanied by Joe, GOMAMON, (Trish Stratus's music begins) and his opponent being accompanied to the ring by Mimi, PALMON, (Mick Foley's music begins) and their opponent being accompanied to the ring by Cody, ARMADILLOMON!!  
  
Mills Lane: I want a good clean fight. The last digimon left alive is the winner. Now, LET'S GET IT ON!!  
  
(bell rings)  
  
As soon as Armadillomon entered the ring, Palmon attacked with her poison ivy tangling Armadillomon up in the vines. Gomamon seeing an opportunity attacked the helpless Armadillomon with his marching fishes, but the fishes got carried away and started attacking Palmon's vines. Palmon retracted her vines, digivolved to Togemon, and attacked Gomamon with her needle spray.  
  
JR: Cody just gave Armadillomon a steel chair.  
  
Armadillomon then proceeded to smash Togemon in the knees with the chair.  
  
Togemon: How dare you, you little pipsqueak.  
  
JR: And now Togemon is attacking Armadillomon.  
  
Gomamon: Gomamon digivolve to… Ikakakumon.  
  
Ikakakumon fired a harpoon torpedo and hit Togemon right in the back. Infuriated Togemon turned around and launched a needle spray at Ikakakumon. Ikakakumon continued to fire his harpoon torpedoes destroying most of the needles and occasionally hitting Togemon.  
  
Cody: Digiarmor energize!!  
  
Armadillomon: Armadillomon digivolve to… Digmon, the drill of power.  
  
JR: King, look. Armadillomon is back in this fight thanks to that digivolve.  
  
King: And Togemon and Ikakakumon haven't even noticed that fact.  
  
Digmon used his gold rush attack hitting both of his opponents. Togemon and Ikakakumon turned to face Digmon.  
  
Digmon: Rock cracker!!  
  
Digmon's rock cracker attack split the ring and the floor underneath the ring creating a huge deep chasm right underneath Togemon and Ikakakumon. Both digimon fell into the chasm, and then Digmon closed the chasm crushing both of his opponents with one fell swoop.  
  
(bell rings)  
  
Mills Lane: And the winner is Digmon!  
  
JR: While our repair crew fixes the ring, we now go live to the back where Lillian Garcia is standing by with Patamon. (scene change to backstage)  
  
Lillian Garcia: Patamon, tonight you're facing Gatomon in a…  
  
Patamon: (Interrupting) Just wait one second there Lillian, first I have a question for you. Lilian Garcia, do you like, strudel?  
  
Lillian: Um, Uh.  
  
Patamon: IT DOESN'T MATTER if you like strudel. Gatomon, the time has come for you to realize that there can only be one angelic digimon on the team and that's Angemon. But I'll tell you want you can do, take Kari's digivice, shine it up real nice, TURN IT SIDEWAYS AND STICK IT STRAIGHT UP, YOUR CANDY ASS!!! IF YA SMELLLLL WHAT THE POT ROAST IS COOKIN'!!!  
  
(scene change to ring)  
  
King: Boy, Patamon sure is fired up for his match.  
  
JR: You can say that again.  
  
Ring announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one death. (Chyna's music begins) Introducing first being accompanied to the ring by Kari, GATOMON!!  
  
Gatomon climbs into the ring and takes the mike from the ring announcer.  
  
Gatomon: Hey, bacon boy, you've got no chance of winning because your just a stupid, fat, ugly, flying pig! (Gives mike back to ring announcer)  
  
(The Rock's music begins)  
  
Ring announcer: And her opponent being accompanied by T.K. PATAMON!!  
  
Patamon flies quickly down to the ring and starts brawling with Gatomon until Mills Lane breaks them up.  
  
Mills Lane: Hey! This match doesn't begin until I say 'Let's get it on' Now, LET'S GET IT ON!!  
  
(bell rings)  
  
JR: And Patamon gets this match underway with a Boom Bubble barrage.  
  
King: But Gatomon is just popping them with her lightening claw attack.  
  
Patamon: Patamon digivolve to… Angemon.  
  
Angemon then whacks Gatomon with his staff knocking her out of the ring with the last swing.  
  
JR: Angemon using that staff like a kendo stick.  
  
Gatomon: All right, no more Miss Nice Kitty. Gatomon digivolve to… Angewomon.  
  
King: The kitties are here. The kitties are here.  
  
JR: Settle down there, King.  
  
Angewomon climbs back into the ring and delivers a spinning heel kick to Angemon. Angemon simply sits up, grabs Angewomon by the throat, stands up, and delivers a chokeslam. Angemon drags Angewomon into position and holds her legs apart as TK climbs to the top turnbuckle.  
  
JR: Oh you've got to be kidding me. They're not going to do that.  
  
Angemon: Wassup!  
  
TK: Wassup!  
  
JR: I don't believe it! The Wassup headbutt to Angewomon.  
  
Angemon: TK!! Get the table!  
  
King: They're not going to put Angewomon through a table, are they?  
  
JR: Looks that way, King.  
  
TK climbs out of the ring and pulls a table out from under it, and slides it into the ring. While Angemon sets up the table, suddenly Kari runs up and cracks TK over the head with a steel chair. Angemon hears the impact and turns to see Kari holding the dented chair. He starts stalking Kari and is suddenly attacked from behind by Angewomon. While Angewomon is distracting Angemon, Kari picks up the unresisting TK, throws him into the ring, climbs in afterwards, and puts TK on the table. Angemon goes for a hurricanrana but Angewomon counters by powerbombing Angemon through TK and the table.  
  
JR: MAH GAWD KING, TK has got to be broken in half!!  
  
King: And Angewomon's not done yet. She's coming over here and she's bringing Angemon with her.  
  
Angewomon proceeds to bounce Angemon's head off the announce table a couple of times before throwing him on top of the table.  
  
JR: Go on, get this fight back in the ring where it belongs.  
  
Angewomon climbs on to the table, picks up Angemon, sticks his head between her legs, and delivers a pedigree though the announce table. Angewomon than takes the ring announcer's microphone and flys back into the ring.  
  
Angewomon: What's the matter bacon boy, you ready to give up and admit that I the better angel.  
  
TK: (weakly) Angemon, digivolve.  
  
Angemon: Angemon digivolve to… MagnaAngemon.  
  
JR: I don't believe it, not only is Angemon back up but he's digivolved into MagnaAngemon. Medical personnel have finally arrived to check on TK's condition, and, Oh I don't believe this, TK is refusing to leave the ringside area.  
  
King: JR, look up, Angewomon and MagnaAngemon are fighting in mid air.  
  
Angewomon goes for a clothesline but MagnaAngemon ducks and comes up in the perfect position to deliver the Rock Bottom.  
  
JR: Don't do it MagnaAngemon, you'll kill yourself.  
  
MagnaAngemon delivered the Rock Bottom, slamming Angewomon hard into the middle of the ring creating a huge dust cloud that obscured everyone's view. Slowly the dust cleared revealing MagnaAngemon standing over a dent in the ring which Angewomon was lying in. Then MagnaAngemon removed his elbow pad and tossed it into the crowd.  
  
King: Here it comes, The most electrifying move in the Digital World, the Angel's Elbow.  
  
After Angemon hit the elbow, Kari came running at MagnaAngemon with the steel chair. MagnaAngemon saw her, and delivered a stunner to Kari. MagnaAngemon opened the Gate of Destiny, picked up Angewomon by stabbing her with his blade and threw her through it after which the gate vanished.  
  
Mills Lane: And the winner is, MagnaAngemon.  
  
JR: Boy have we seen some brutality here tonight.  
  
King: But this, like all good things must come to an end.  
  
JR: So for Jerry, "The King," Lawler. This is JR saying, good fight, good night. 


End file.
